i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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