i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
