i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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