the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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