But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI