"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.