I cockslap morals
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
