I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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