walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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