You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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