dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
