Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
