I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I need to calm my uterus...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
