get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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