another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
a search helicopter?!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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