He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
