Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
