Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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