At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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