wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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