ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
