I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
