never play flip cup with pint glasses
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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