Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize
