The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
