So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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