dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
