who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
