Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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