3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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