don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
