he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize