i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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