We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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