I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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