so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
