you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
