Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
