...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
