At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She's the barista slut.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
