Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
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Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?