Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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