Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
