How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
