Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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