5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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