your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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