judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize