doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize