Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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