Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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