Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
