So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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