i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.