I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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