totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that