we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's shark week go big or go home
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now