birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.