he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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