just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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