I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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