too bad you live with your parents still
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
