Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
